Guess who finally called?

Yep, the ex. Ya, I almost fainted!

He called to tell our daughter happy birthday. I did text him the day before to remind him, but at least he called. Actually he called and I must not have had a signal, it didn't ring. I got a voice mail message from him. So I called him back, and told him he had to talk to me after he talked to our daughter. So I ask him what is going on. He hemmed and hawed, and said that he's waiting for some money, blah blah blah. Not sure when he can get the kids. And oh, he'll only get them for 2-3 weeks. Lovely! I'm sure he's still sending his wife and 2 little kids to Egypt. Has money for that, but not for his 2 older kids, sigh.

It will be nice to have a small break, but I will only believe it when he buys the tickets, with the way he is. He can be a good dad, when he chooses to be. Don't know which is worse: that, or a father who never really cared about or saw his child. To me the first.

I signed my little one up for some programs at the library, so I'll try to keep busy.

You're Moving WHERE?

I called my ex (I'll call him A) this am, and as soon as I said, "Hi A, it's An", he hung up. This evening his phone was off, so I called his wife's phone. A guy answered. He said he was A's friend (I'll call him X, since I don't know his name), and that A was sleeping at his house. X and I had a grand old discussion about A and him not paying child support for 10 weeks (and we got into religion too). X was making excuses for A, and said A had to visit his homeland when I said A went on vacation (to Egypt) instead of paying his child support. X said I should be working to support them, and that I shouldn't go to court for child support, just let A send it out of the "goodness of his heart." Well that'd be about NEVER! He barely pays when the court makes him. X said that I must have been a bad wife to make A. this way. Way to take responsibility! He also said I must not have been a "real" Muslim to have the attitude that I do.

Then X said my ex was planning on moving to Egypt! That A's wife and kids were over there. X said later that A should "take custody" of the children, as he put it, and take them to Egypt. Now I'm worried about A trying to get the kids, or leaving to Egypt and abandoning the kids. I think A is too lazy to try to get them and won't want to get into trouble. And he's a bad planner as well. But if he moves to Egypt, there's no way to get any $ out of him. And it'll kill my son to have his dad abandon him. My daughter doesn't show her emotions about her dad, but she wrote at school that her greatest wish was to have us together (see my previous post), so things must affect her that she doesn't show.

I told X I'd let my ex take my children over my dead body (and A's lol), and that if X helped him, I'd make sure he was arrested. His reply? "I have a good lawyer." Right, that'll get you out of kidnapping charges!

My ex is such an asshat, and this guy is obviously one too. I hate men right now! And I'm not very fond of Egyptians (nothing personal to any other Egyptians out there). I'm just tired of the cultural crap.

I'm sure X will tell A all I told him, including that I'm not Muslim anymore and I go to Church, Gasp! And don't care if my kids are Atheists when they grow up, double gasp lol. Yep, it was a long-winded discussion/argument.

Anisah, sleeping with one eye open

You have $ for a vacation but not child support?

I found out that my ex, who has been paying his child support erratically at best, is on vacay in Egypt! Don't ask me how I know, suffice it to say that I know he opened my email there. I did confirm with his brother that he's there. He hasn't paid anything in 2 months, but feels the need to go on vacation, presumably since he's been working so hard. Can I throw up now?

He has been going 2 months in-between payments the last couple of times. In fact it's been exactly 2 months since he has paid anything. Even when he pays, he doesn't pay it all and has arrears of around $500-$1k after each payment.

Some good news: the child support agency is taking him to court for child support at the end of July. This means I can ask for a bench warrant option be put on the account, and this will probably be approved because of his erratic payments. Then if he's 2 weeks late, someone may get a visit from the local police. I don't know if they will go to his home to pick him up, or only arrest him if they happen to stop him for something else. I will call the police station to ask them.

Anisah, good news bad news kinda day

Why are men so stupid?

I know not all men are stupid (so the one of you who isn't, please put your hand down lol). I am just sick and tired of dealing with my kid's dads who don't give a damn about their kids. Going 2 months without paying child support and not calling your kids for 4 months! How can you turn your emotions off like that and not care if your kids have food or not? Actually he cares if his 2 younger kids have food and clothing and a place to live. I mentioned a couple of days ago about his houses. How can you own 2 houses, yet not pay your child support? I know I am lucky to get it at all, my youngest son's father went back to Jordan and pays nothing at all for him. I've called one of my ex's friends, his brother and his wife, to try to shame him into paying. Well it's not working. I even threatened to report his tax fraud to the IRS. Does he have any brains or is the NJ child support system just not working? I think he should be scared of the IRS. They take your property and ask questions later. But I don't think he has the smarts to be afraid of them. Or maybe he thinks he has more cajones than he actually does.

I'm just so depressed not having any money to pay my rent, and he has 2 damn houses! I guess nobody said life was fair though, did they. I've been putting in applications but haven't heard from any place yet. I hate having to depend on him for money to support my kids. He lies in court and tries to pretend that he's a good father, when he went weeks at a time without seeing them after the child support got raised. He also didn't pay for almost 2 months, and I had to give the child support agency the name and phone number of where he was working to get it taken out of his check. Then once he got fired he start paying when he felt like it (or after all his other bills were paid). When he has had his own plumbing business for years, not paying child support or taxes on that money. But I'm sending in a tax fraud form to the IRS tomorrow for him claiming our children on his tax return when they were living with me. Payback? Maybe, but he did break the law. If he had paid all his child support I may not have done that, but the gloves are off now. He owes $2600 something, and on Wednesday it will go up about $268. He said he was going to pay $1500 on Monday or Tuesday in cash, but he hasn't. And what about the rest, idiot? How does he think his children are eating? Does he think the government should support his children?

A, trying not to be too depressed but not succeeding very well

Pay your effin child support!

I have an ongoing battle with my ex to pay his child support. He pays once a month sometimes, now it's been 7 weeks since he paid. I don't even have money to do laundry. I've been filling out applications trying to get a job. He doesn't pay it all and it keeps adding up. Now he owes over $2500. He doesn't usually answer his phone, I've been calling his brother and the one friend of his I know to try to get him to pay. Today he finally answers his cell phone. I told him I know he has another house and I know how much he bought it for (ain't the internet grand?). He tries to get me to feel sorry for him, saying he bought the house to fix it up to make money but the market is down. Right, he has 2 houses and 3 or 4 cars, and I should feel sorry for him. When I and my 3 children are in a small 2-bedroom apartment, with a car with plastic in the window because I can't afford to replace the glass an idiot neighbor broke. Riiight.

I also found out he claimed our children on his tax return. Which is illegal because they didn't live with him, and he didn't have me sign a form saying he can claim them. He just assumed I hadn't been working so he could get $ off of them when he owes $ TO them! I told him if he doesn't compensate me for what he is getting back for claiming them, the IRS is going to do an investigation. And you don't mess around with the IRS. They take your property and ask questions later.

He doesn't believe I found the info on his houses online. Well here's the info on his houses that I found:

House 1 which he bought for about 296,000 in 2005

House 2 which he bought for about $460,000 in 2006, AFTER he got fired

A.